I swear to god, Australia is some kind of bullshit Night Vale country.
“ A Zayn fan knows that despite being empirically the best singer and the most attractive member of the band, Zayn is not the most famous member of One Direction. This is the Tao of Zayn, to which all Zayn fans subscribe: being extremely good at everything and yet somehow flying under the radar. A Zayn fan will read all of Infinite Jest and not brag about it once. A Zayn fan loves herself and knows her boundaries. A Zayn fan is like a human iceberg, with untold depths beneath the water. A Zayn fan might not even tell anyone they like One Direction. ”
"I feel like watching my dating life has become a bit of a national pastime, and I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work. And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start. And so I just don’t date."
Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom
Image 1: Farbgel
Image 2: StoppaRed
I’ve seen a lot of people (mostly women, for reasons which may be obvious) speaking about being worried when going out, be it alone or even with friends, both in the day and at night. I know that a lot of female friends of mine carry around a can of antiperspirant or a pot of pepper to use if they’re ever attacked. What I know a lot of people don’t realise is that there are products out there which work in a violent situation and help in catching the assailant for the best part of a week afterwards.
Known as ‘criminal identifiers’, these sprays are brightly coloured dyes which can be sprayed in the face of an attacker. Unlike things such as CS or Pepper sprays, criminal identifier sprays are legal in the UK.
What these sprays do is release a sticky, brightly coloured dye. It’s difficult to wipe away and stains the skin a bright red colour. No matter how hard an attacker might try to remove it from their skin and clothing, the staining typically lasts for around a week and doesn’t even start to fade until after a few days have passed.
Unlike CS and Pepper sprays (which, again, aren’t legal in the UK) criminal identifier sprays don’t cause irritation or pain to an attacker. Instead, they expand and clog up the area sprayed with a kind of sticky foam that’s difficult to wipe away. It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon’s arse to the police.
Each can of the sprays costs around £10 each, though it may be cheaper when buying multiple canisters and if you shop around.
This is an original post, but I’ve released it into the public domain. It can be shared, altered, reposted in whole or in part with no need for attribution (though obviously I would appreciate it!)
It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon’s arse to the police.